Run, Conqueror, Ice, Eat…Repeat

So has the self pity party for myself and the soap operatic style on my life as it relates to running and the trials and tribulations I am going through mentally and physically ended?

Nope…not at all, but its getting pretty damn close to ending thankfully.

So since my last post I have cut back on the crappy food and drink, although I do have my fried mac and cheese bits a couple times a week still, and been making some food to come home to and eat. The one night I made a crockpot recipe of Chicken thighs in a pesto and ranch sauce, then added some long grain brown rice and broccoli and BAM good healthy diner and some lunches. I am a huge fan of the crockpot recipes and cooking in general and I have Pintrest to thank for getting me back into it. Oh yes, so back to my tales of woe and heartache.

As I was saying this past week since my last post I have been also working out again and pushing myself a bit. I will admit that I was pumped and pushing myself physically and mentally all the way to the gym. My best friend and true brother in life Anthony, who I don’t know how the hell he puts up with me after all these years, through text message punched me in the face and said do it…so I did it. I walked into the gym confident and ready to kick some ass and take back what was rightfully mine, that being my ability to run and be fit. I unpacked my bag, put my braces on, qued up the ipod on some Emigrate and with my water in my hand I strolled confidently to the treadmill. And that’s when it happened, I got scared…I was nervous and my brain went into overdrive telling me it was going to be painful and I was going to hurt myself even more. In all that macho self hype up it took just one face to face look at that treadmill to turn me into nothing more than the cowardly lion from the Wizard of Oz. I froze and stood there and debated what to do next, just do some light weights or test my ankle and what it can do? I figured I wasted the gas to get there so I might as well give this a shot, that’s right economical logic is what got me on the treadmill. I took that first step gingerly up and placed my water and towel into the cup holders and pressed play on my ipod. This was a make it or break it moment for me for there was no going back or if I did I would look really stupid…more than I normally do. I pressed “quickstart” and the belt began to move, I put the speed up to 2.5 and felt good so I increased it a bit more to 3.0 and then to 4.0, I was moving at a good pace and the whole time I was thinking about my ankle and waiting for it collapse and give off and excruciating pain.

As I walked at a 4.0 pace and the minutes went by I felt my ankle hit a plateau of discomfort and then ultimately the discomfort pretty much went away. Yeah I felt it and I was nervous, but so far it wasn’t that bad. I also wanted to be mindful to not rely completely on support of my left foot because that would have messed that one up and hurt me more in the long run. At about the 6 minute mark I psyched myself up to try and do a light jog and really see where I stood with my ankle. So once the timer clicked 8 minutes I increased the speed up to 5.0 and then to 5.5 and did a short choppy jog, this was the equivalent of a 15 minute pace per mile. To my thankful surprise my ankle felt only minor discomfort, nothing more than I had been feeling since stepping onto the treadmill. I was beginning to sweat and breath deep and it felt good, but I was still trepidatious about the whole thing. I am not an overly optimistic person at times and so my pessimistic nature kicked in and said I better go back to a walking pace or risk never running again, I can be a bit over dramatic at times too. I cranked the treadmill back down to 4.0 and looked at the clock and saw I was just doing the light jog for about 4 minutes straight, needless to say I was shocked and proud in a small way. My ankle really didn’t hurt and I was feeling good, you know that “good” when those endorphins kick in from running…yeah that “good”.

So I kept walking for a few more minutes and I figured well that felt good so let’s do it again, and I cranked up the speed and run another 5 minutes at a light jog pace and then backed it off to not over due. I was really starting to feel even better now, I was really sweating and really smiling. At that point in time I decided to really push the envelope I want to run a bit at more than a 15 minute mile pace. I took a swig or water and prepared for the worst and then I cranked it up to a 7.0 which equaled about a 9 and a ½ minute mile. I was in shock, I was happy, I was definitely nervous because I was scared it would give out at a moment’s notice. However I couldn’t get over the fact that I was doing it, I was running again; the deep breaths and the sweat pouring and the tunes kicking…this felt really good. I did this for about 5 minutes and slowed back down to a walking paced this time at a 4.5 level. I ended up doing this a few more time and the last time I could feel my ankle become weak so that’s when I hit the “cool down” button and walked the rest of the time, which turned into a nice 50 minute cardio session for me.

As the time counted down and the belt of the treadmill slowed down to a complete stop my ankle was sore, not hurting but sore. I grabbed some water and looked through the details of the run on the machine for my own curiosity. As it cycled through the data of times, calories and mileage it had a feature to see how long it took me to essentially run a 5K…37 minutes. My normal 5k time is around 25-27 minutes depending on terrain and other factors, so this meant I was only 10 minutes away from my time zone? I am pretty happy about this and in a way proud, granted its not my personal best, but I thought it would take me a good 45 minutes to come close to an even 3 miles. This gave me hope and while I continued to work out the rest of the night I threw in some ankle strengthening exercises to keep it limber and build it back up, but I kept coming back to my run. I thought about how I feared it and how it almost defeated me and my own thought s made me self destruct and bring upon self doubt in my own ability and self worth.

So I have to be completely honest with you about this whole event, for while this was an exercise onto myself and to get my a$$ back in gear and running I did have an ulterior motive behind the whole thing. You see my mother does 5Ks every now and then, there is one 5K that I consider to mine and hers despite if our friends and family join us for this was the first 5K we had run together and this is our 5K. The Macoby Run is held in November each year and I always look forward to it and running with her in this race. So I did run for myself, but I ran for the ability to run with my mom. She may beat me this time around, and the gold course hills will destroy us but at least we will get our selfie together and bond.  Oh and BTW I was sore as hell the next day after my workout, but it was totally worth it.

So be safe and run hard.

JB